making edible playdough is hegemonic.

Today’s my birthday. I’m 33. I don’t really go for birthday reflections or “this year I promise to…” resolutions, but I have been thinking lately that I’m happier, and more confident and comfortable with myself, than I have been maybe ever. And that’s worth writing about, even if it is my birthday.

1. It takes awesome friends. Awesome friends are great to have in general, but I also happen to think they’re a necessity. My awesome friends have helped me figure out the difference between the sort of person I am, the sort of person I think I am, and the sort of person I want to be. As exemplified by this recent conversation:

me: OMG I hate conflict so much
[my inner monologue: OMG I'm such an enormous loser because I never stand up for myself and I run away from everything and I cause even more problems for everyone around me]
Melissa: Well, you hate conflict so much that you actually do work to avoid having conflict in the first place.
Carissa: Yeah, and even though you hate conflict that doesn’t stop you from standing up for things that you believe in. Which is sort of cool.
[my inner monologue: OMG that's sort of true and maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself all the time just because I hate fighting with people]
me: do you guys want to go get ice cream?

2. It takes awesome colleagues. I know people who have chosen career paths that put them in contact with some nasty, backstabbing sorts of people. I’m super duper lucky that my field, education, is loaded up with nice, smart, and funny people–the kind I’d want to be friends with anyway. Yup, there are mean and small-minded people here, too, but they’re far outweighed by the kind, well intentioned folks.

(Which sort of makes a guy wonder why so many current educational policies run counter to the best interests of our kids. I have thoughts on that, too, but that’s a post for another day.)

3. It takes a sort of thick skin. I’ve been called a lot of names, some of which I don’t even understand. (Can someone explain to me what, exactly, “butt paralyzing wankery” is?) This is sort of the price of admission, especially if you use online platforms to speak up for your beliefs.

Eventually you learn to shrug it off. You might bitch to your friends and draft a vituperative, name-calling blog post, but in the end you delete the draft and move on.

Which is sort of cool. Also, here are some of my awesome friends:

And here are some of my awesome colleagues:

And incidentally, now that I’ve thought about it there’s not much of a line between my colleagues and my friends. Which is sort of nice too.

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